This should be rather informative.

[cynchick]

Taken from redbrunja :

Okay, flist, time to get constructive and critical... but nicely, please.

Pick one piece of fanfiction I've written.  I'll tell you one thing I didn't like about it, one thing I did and one thing I wish I would have done differently.  Then, you give me one thing you didn't like, one thing you liked and one comment about it.  The comment can be a question or in general remark or whatever you want.  Post this in your journal so I can do the same.

Comments

[strange_quark]

I pick... Perception!

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

What I like most about that fic is the message. I really had a point I wanted to make and I knew that pairing and that plot would be a perfect way to convey it.

What I dont like about it are all the romantic/fanfic/general cliches I used because I didnt know any better. And all the grammatical errors and general lack of refinement. One thing I would have done differently is take my time. I was so driven and motivated (10k chapter per week? Jesus what was I on?) that I think I sacrificed a lot of finesse. Someday when I have more time I want to go back and fix all of that in a big overhaul.

It was my first time, and like all first times, it was rushed and sloppy and laughably embarassing compared to what I do now. But I remember it fondly and it will always have a special place. XDD

[strange_quark]

What I liked about this fic was that I thought it was the capture!plot done right. It didn't stink at all of Stockholm syndrome to me, which so many others do, and it's fair to the characterizations of both the good guys and the bad guys (except for Tobi, but I understand that it was written before we knew that Tobi was Madara). I like how it ended. The way you wrote it, they weren't meant to be together forever and Itachi wasn't meant to live, and you didn't try to force your story to do anything different.

What I didn't like... I'm not sure this makes sense, but I noticed an tendency to tell rather than show in the narrative. Thought processes often went like this: "X thought this, then thought this, then realized this other thing." There's nothing really wrong with that, I just think that it's not necessary to draw an explicit map of the character's rationalizations if it's been clearly demonstrated. Which is massively nitpicky, I realize, but it's really the only thing that stood out to me that I thought could use fixing.

I guess my question would be: as this was your first fic, and I know that Kakashi/Sakura is your OTP, why did you write an Itachi/Sakura? What drew you to the pairing and prompted you to write this fic?

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Oh I totally agree, there was waaaay too much exposition in that fic. Too much explaining and not enough showing. But I didnt know what I was doing at the time, and I let my real life tendency to overanalyze and overexplain creep into my writing. I now try to avoid character-based exposition as much as possible and let their actions and dialogue speak for them.

When I got the idea to write that fic, I was actually attempting to write a Genma/Shizune. I think it was a scene in the movie Munich, where they have to spend the night in this house with a group that turns out to be their enemy. But for one night they call a truce for survival's sake, and during that night they get to know each other and see each other as human beings. It struck me as the very definition of "gray." There is no good/evil, right/wrong, only our perception. It suddenly hit me that I could write a fic about that: Sakura being forced to see the humanity of the other side through proximity and circumstance. I had just gotten into ItaSaku and the only fics Id read were Leafygirls, so I had no idea the kidnapping thing had been done 92813991 times already. Lol. But I guess I had a fresh take on it, and definitely a fresh ending.

The reason I didnt write KakaSaku was because it IS my OTP, and I didnt want to screw it up. I was nervous to write one, and also, in KakaSaku, the same 4-5 plots have been rehashed a million times and I didnt have anything fresh. I do now. I have an awesome plot inspired by the recent manga that (hopefully) will be my big fanfiction opus.

[(Anonymous)]

"I have an awesome plot inspired by the recent manga that (hopefully) will be my big fanfiction opus."

<3 <3 <3

Any idea when?????

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Oh...in a few months probably, over the winter.

[superduperotaku.livejournal.com]

Christmas Confessions :)

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

What I like about that one is how easy and sweet it is. No angsty struggles, no doom and gloom and world-ending drama. Just two people in love finally giving into their feelings. Baww.

And the fact that its my OTP, and so far its the only fic Ive written of them. XD

If I dislike anything its probably the small lack of finesse and editing. Thats the one thing that always gets me when I read back over my fics.

[superduperotaku.livejournal.com]

I read back over it this morning and I forget how many wonderful, comical moments there were like Sakura cursing at her burnt roast while butt naked in the kitchen, and the playful banter between Kakashi and Sakura is suburb. Oh, and of course there's the yummy, yummy sex. Although it's not especially kinky, it's still very hot.

I think my only problem, (Beside a little more kink and more sex) is some of the adorably awkward scenes where you just cringe because everything goes wrong, even though its funny (like the whole roast situation.) You want everything to go perfectly for them and simultaneously groan and laugh when it doesn't, but of course, thats the point!

[nokutetsu.livejournal.com]

Vertigo ;P

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Vertigo is my baby. Even though its not the most popular, its definitely my favorite (so far.) What I like most about it is the growth and balancing between the characters. Deidara matures and becomes a better person, while Sakura grows a little darker and more jaded. They kind of even out, and reach a point where they completely understand each other. Vertigo was my Deidara Fangirl Love Project. Lol. XDD

What I dislike is that its both too long and not long enough. There was probably quite a bit I could have left out, but I wanted to include all the ideas and snippets I had, and so I should have followed through on them and not left them hanging. I just didnt have room. The fic was already a monster.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Interestingly enough, I think Vertigo is my favorite of all your work.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Really? Including the new one? Why is that, if I may ask? (and I may) XD

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Definitely including the new one. I think it's very in-character for both Deidara and Sakura, I liked the set-up you gave them (very believable), I liked that Sakura hinted she wanted to leave Atasuki with Deidara and after Deidara had calmed down he remembered that and believed her (which is painfully rare in fiction with issues of people not being who they said they were), the sex was scorching hot, the pairing had made chemistry and Sakura was portrayed as a shinobi with a specialty in healing and not a healer.... who happens to also be shinobi, trust us on this.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Definitely including the new one? Does that mean you dont like Vespertine? D:

The reasons you gave are the reason I love Vertigo so much too, and why I wanted to write it. I wanted to show the darker side of being a ninja, what they really are and what they really do. And for Sakura in the world of missing nin, being a healer takes a back burner to being a fighter. Some people didnt like that she wasnt as sensitive and compassionate, not as much of a "healer" type. But oh well. Thats what happens when protecting your own life is more important than saving others. I hate Sakura-joins-Akatsuki fics where she always cries compassionately for others and wants to heal every goddamn person she encounters no matter how terrible they are or what her relationship to them is.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Some people didnt like that she wasnt as sensitive and compassionate, not as much of a "healer" type.

Some people are fucking morons who think being a healer means you are required to heal EVERYONE and have no spine. Goddamn that's a trope I hate.

And for a while I was reading Itachi/Sakura fics in an 'it's there, no one's really writing Kakashi/Sakura, let's give it a whirl' (the same attitude I took towards Deidara/Sakura, frankly). But where I ended up liking a lot of DeiSaku fics, I realized that I do not like Itachi/Sakura as a pairing. That's why I'm not enjoying Vespertine - despite being well-written, it's not a pairing or a dynamic that I enjoy.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Ah ok. At least its not me. Lol. I admit that ItaSaku is my least favorite of my usual pairings. Its very hard to find good fics because most people dont understand how they could form a romantic relationship and so they just go with what they think would do it: stockholm syndrome, badboy attraction, spiting sasuke, etc. Its a difficult dynamic and its hard to make them have any fun together. Complete opposite of Deisaku, where their mad chemistry forces itself onto the page. I guess I like the subtlety and the darkness & light aspect of it. Not to mention theyre fucking gorgeous together. Lol. But Vespertine is my last ItaSaku, and probably my last AkatSaku altogether.

After Vespertine Ill be writing my final multichapter fanfic and its an epic KakaSaku based around recent events in the manga. Im also thinking about claiming KakaSaku for the 30 lemons comm. Im finally ready to dedicate myself to my OTP. XD

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I really can't wait to see what you do when you spend more time on Kakashi/Sakura. I really hope you end up claiming them at 30_lemons.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

the cool thing (and the most tempting) about the 30 lemons challenge is that you can alternate between fic and art, which is right up my alley. and they only require one prompt a month.

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

I'm drooling over here at the thought of pervy Kakashi/Sakura art from you.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Im looking forward to it too. I already have visions for several of the prompts. >:D

Btw, you still havent answered my response to this meme on your journal. :P

[redbrunja.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I have a lot of comments in my inbox and when that happens I often switch between starting with the newest and starting with the oldest which means that often older comments don't get answered right away. All in good time!

[zelha.livejournal.com]

Gimme Silver Lining! 8D

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Oh Silver Lining. That fic was completely self indulgent. I wanted to expand on the feelings developed between Deidara and Sakura in Perception. I wanted them to have their chance, and I felt a lot of other people did too. So what I love about that fic is that I got to put them together, have lots of fluff and smex, and live happily ever after. Also, moar Kisame. XD

What I didnt like was that my writing was kind of in a transitional stage at that time, and theres some fluctuation in style and perspective changes that I should have been more conscious of. Most people who arent writers probably wouldnt notice, but it bothers me a little.

[keysotosoto129.livejournal.com]

Perception. Because it's still my favorite of all of your fanfiction :)

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Well, I already answered for this one earlier, but if there was anything else I didnt like about that fic it would probably be how mild and mature Deidara is. It was before we really knew a whole lot about him, but given what we now know I think he was way too reasonable and grown up and accepting of the situation.

Another thing I did like was the little bit of DeiSaku. It totally wasnt planned, but it happened naturally because they have such natural chemistry. And if it hadnt happened there would be no Silver Lining, which I adore. XD

[keysotosoto129.livejournal.com]

What I liked was the realistic lovestory (for this genre/series). At least, I thought so. You put a lot of creativity and thought into making the characters come to life. Itachi's death made me cry like a sissy.

And that was pretty much the only thing I didn't like; Ita's death, though it had to happen );

Do you ever have thoughts of making like these little drabble outtakes of Sakura and Dei in the future, in the midst of what they're doing now?

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Haha, interestingly, I havent written a follow up to Silver Lining, but my friend Zelha has. Its a series of connecting one shots about DeiSaku and their daughter post-SL. Its adorable and you can read it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4483426/1/

[hieronymousb.livejournal.com]

Once More, With Feeling.

Gah, sorry for not having read any of the long ones. I have read a little of Vespertine, though, and I think your writing is improving a lot, just from having skimmed some of your much older works. XD;

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Part of why I love Sai is that he is a Sexy Artist, and so what I like about this fic is that I got to write out a few of my Sexy Artist kinks. I also like that it was virgin!sex, because I hadnt done that before and it was a challenge to make it appropriately awkward but still sexy.

What I dont like is that I dont think I gave enough attention to Sai's feelings on being deflowered and what comes next. Sakura is worried about various things, meanwhile Sai is over here, newly deflowered by his female teammate, and I show almost nothing of what he's going through. It made Sakura look selfish.

[hieronymousb.livejournal.com]

Liked: The sex was pretty hot. The narrative gave lots of details for the setting, for what Sakura was thinking, and for Sai, and I got a sense of how their friendship might have progressed from this 'fic. I noticed some of your reviewers said Sakura seemed abrasive in your 'fics, and from what I've read of your writing, I don't really notice this. I think she's still pretty sympathetic as a character. Also, as ever, much love for clueless Sai:

“Why I’m always thinking of you when you’re not with me. What I feel when you are with me. Why I have impulses to do things with you that I don’t have with anyone else.” He touched her hair again, and this time his knuckles softly brushed her cheek. “Is this what is known as . . . desire?”

D'awwww, so cute. ♥

Disliked: I'd have to agree with you that Sai's feelings could have been taken into account more. Also, this is probably just my pet peeve, but there's some dialogue in there which strikes me as generic-porn-ish:

“I need you inside me, Sai.”

“Stop talking,” she murmured against his mouth. “Do you trust me?”

I don't necessarily mind some porn dialogue; it can be pretty hot? But I do think it's good if it reflects the character's individual personality -- if it's uniquely Sakura, or uniquely whoever -- so lines like "I need you inside me" tend to irk me just a bit. (Also, it goes along with what you said about Sakura.)

Comment: Was it hard, writing a one-shot? I mean, given that most of your 'fics are long multi-chapter stories.

[cynchick.livejournal.com]

Sometimes its challenging to write a one shot, just because theres so little room to work in and I have to deliver a credible storyline in only a few thousand words. Unless its just pwp, but I havent really done that yet. Lol. I just do it like I do all my fics though, outline where I want it to go and certain ideas or moments I want to include, and go from there. As Im sure everyone has noticed, its kind of impossible for me to write drabbles or anything under 3k words. Im definitely more suited to long fics.